The changing of the pants

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I am convinced that if you would like to travel back in time and see a man as a four year old little boy, all you need to do is pay attention to him when he first wakes up in the morning. There he is. He is exactly the same as he was decades ago, just a little larger with a little more scruffiness.

My four year old morning husband happens to be adorable… and hilarious. Brad cannot wake up quickly – every morning he turns to his right side, stares out the window for at least 4 minutes, says nothing, and trys to figure out how to move his feet. Then he gets up, waddles into the bathroom, then to the shower, and so on with his day….

The funniest thing about this process is that it is in this 30 or so minutes that most of his quirks exist. One that makes me laugh and pull my hair out is the fact that he absolutely ABHORS changing clothes. Once he has made the committment to a pair of pants, shirt, socks, belt, etc… that’s it. There is no going back. He is perfectly willing to wear whatever I suggest for him, as long as I do NOT change my mind.

 Weeellll… If you know me, you also know that I always and regularly DO change my mind. I tell you all of the aforementioned information to let you fully understand the dynamic of the bathroom conversation between a wife and her hilarious four year old morning husband:

What shirt do you want me to wear?
Ummm – how about the green one?
(put’s green shirt on, buttons pants, all set)
Hey Brad, you can’t wear those pants -…
(stops me mid sentence) WHY???
Because they have the little zigzags from the hanger!
THEY WILL BE GONE BEFORE I WALK OUT THE DOOR!!
No they won’t – it takes alot longer than that for those wrinkles to fall out – seriously you have to change your pants
LACEY – DO I EVER HAVE ZIGZAGS WHEN I COME HOME? NO. THAT’S BECAUSE THEY FELL OUT.
Brad – it looks like you didn’t iron your clothes.
I NEVER IRON MY CLOTHES!
Well, you can’t wear those pants. Here – wear these.
AHHHH! Those are dark brown. Are you sure they match?
yes. I’m sure they match. And they don’t have zigzags. Wear these.
(puts on the pants and tucks in his shirt)
These are winter clothes. They look winter. Do I have to have darker socks for these? I don’t think I have dark socks for these pants.
(lacey looks in the drawer) Oh, you’re right. You don’t have dark socks clean. Okay, well then you’ll have to wear these pants. (holds up another pair.)
I DON’T DO THE CHANGING OF THE PANTS!!!
(Lacey is laughing hard now)
Well… you are going to have to do the changing of the pants today, Brad. You have to wear pants.
Okay, give me those pants, but I don’t care what’s wrong with these. I’m wearing them.
There’s nothing wrong with those – you look great.

(Sigh) This has just been 10 minutes of Foolishness, Leci!
(Lacey laughing) Okay, have a great day! Oh, and just so you know, I can’t WAIT to blog this - YOU are hilarious! (and with that, my four year old morning husband grabs his coffee, tells me he loves me, grabs his things, and heads off to work)

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